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May 17, a date where we should be celebrating our anniversary has turned into pain and suffering as you were not around anymore. You left our world 4 years ago and somewhat I could not move on no matter what I do. 4 years moved so fast and it seemed only yesterday when I left Los Banos and continued my studies in Davao.

Every time I see a calendar, I remember the fun things we used to scribble, from school projects to simple one word journal. After the month is over, we used to turn that over and make it our freedom poster on which we simply wrote what we feel every day. I remember when you force me to walk instead of riding jeepneys, we used to talk about anything under the sun and sometimes have little debates on something. Every time I see a tree, it reminds me how I can find your dorm when you say its near this number of tree. I remember all those little activities that we used to do to determine how compatible we really are. These activities made us closer than we ever will be.

Everytime I see couples walking by the street, I remember how I proposed to you. Perhaps it was the sappiest and cheesy proposal of all time but yet you accepted it. I remembered our small fights that does not last for one week and only happened 3x. I remember the honesty that you have shown me on where you weren’t afraid to tell me what’s wrong with me.

Everytime I hear “Iris,” I remember the night when I said goodbye. When I stood up and embraced you long and hard. I also remember the song of Parokya ni Edgar of which you considered your favorite. You love it when I sing it even though I have no talent whatsoever in singing.

There are lots of things I can remember but it only makes it harder to forget and move on. It’s been 4 years already and I guess its best that I move on. I love her so much but I don’t think she wants me to be miserable all my life. Last night I prayed hard to God to help me to move on. Somehow, I knew she was there beside me and told me it is time to let go. So I made this post, the only outlet I have, the only thing I know that could help me.

But… I will not forget the memories. She will always be the woman in my life who changed me into a better man.

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